I thought that this was a cute story, especially for someone like me who is a huge supporter of the second amendment, this came from a local paper in Alabama…
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To The Guy Who Tried To Rob Me In Little Rock:
I was the guy wiht the black Burberry jacket that you demanded I hand over, shortly after you pulled the knife on my girlfriend and I. You also demanded my girlfriend’s purse and earrings. I hope you somehow come across this message. I’d like to apologize.
I didn’t expect you to soil your pants when I drew my pistol after you took my jacket. Truth is, I was wearing the jacket for a reason that evening, and it wasn’t that cold outside. You see, my girlfriend had just bought me that Kimber Model 1911 .45 ACP pistol for Christmas, and we had just picked up a shoulder holster for it that evening. Beautiful pistol, huh?
It’s a very intimidating weapon when pointed at your head, isn’t it? I know it probably wasn’t a great deal of fun walking back to wherever you’d come from with that brown sludge flopping about in your pants. I’m sure it was even worse since you also ended up leaving your shoes, cell phone, and wallet with me. I couldn’t have you calling up any of your buddies to come help you try and mug us again.
I took the liberty of calling your mother or “Momma” as you had her listed in your cell and explaining to her your situation. I also bought myself and four other people in the gas station this morning a tank full of gas on your credit card. The guy with the big motor home took 150 gallons and was extremely grateful! I gave your shoes to one of the homeless guys over by Vinnie Van Go-Go’s, along with all the cash in your wallet.
I threw the wallet in a fancy pink “pimp mobile” parked at the curb after I broke the windshield and side window out and keyed the drivers side. I called a bunch of phone sex numbers from your cell phone. They’ll be on your bill in case you’d like to know which ones. Ma Bell just shut down the line, and I’ve only had the phone for a little over a day now, so I don’t know what’s going on with that… I hope they haven’t permanently cut off your service.
I could only get in two threatening phone calls to the D.A.’s office and one to the FBI with it. The FBI guy was really ticked and we had a long chat (I guess while he traced the number). I’d also like to apologize for not killing you and instead making you walk back home humiliated. I’m hoping that you’ll reconsider your choice of path in life. Next time you might not be so lucky. -Alex
P.S.: Remember, an armed society is a polite society!
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Now, I know that not everyone is in favor of the Second Amendment and specifically this right granted under the constitution, but I am a supporter.
I will not let this become a Pro-Gun blog, but I felt it important to share this very funny story. And, I might start a separate blog just for discussions about Second Amendment issues.
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